1) "The Almost-Present on My Front Porch"
One of my junior boys: Mr. Ek, have you ever seen a badger?
Me: Yes, (student), I have.
Him: They're kinda freaky lookin', don't you think?
Me: Yeah... kinda awesome looking, too.
Him: Y'know, I found one last night.
Him: Yeah. It was dead. I didn't know if you'd seen a badger before, so I was gonna come and put it on your front porch, but I didn't really want to put a dead badger in my pick-up if you'd already seen one, so I buried it instead.
2) "They Say Dogs Don't See in Colour"
Student, pointing at his choice-novel project (a drawing): "This is the house, and this is the kid, and this is Old Yeller, only he isn't yeller yet 'cause I haven't coloured him in."
3) "I Know He's a Good Actor, But He Isn't That Good"
One of my freshmen after school as she worked on an English extension project (basically, extra credit) over modern adaptatations of "Romeo and Juliet": Wow, Mr. Ek, this version of Romeo and Juliet earned a ton of money!
Me: How much did it earn?
Her: 46.3 million dollars! That's a lot!
Me: That is a lot of money. Was this the Leonardo DiCaprio version?
Her: No... it's the William Shakespeare version.